Time Out For Women

Today I went to Time Out For Women in Auckland - the first one ever.  It was so amazingly awesome I almost don't want to blog about it because I know I won't do it justice.  But I'll do my best :)

I was sitting with Rhona, Jasmine (her sister in law), Val (her visiting teacher), Kim H, Bex (Nikki's friend) and Nikki.  We got there pretty early so got some good seats near the front on the left hand side.  The them was Choose to Become.  The speakers expanded on this - choose to become what Heavenly Father wants you to be, not necessarily what you thought you should be.

The presenters were Hilary Weeks (my favourite!), Laurel Christensen, Brad Wilcox, Sheri Drew (CEO of Deseret Book) and Virginia Hinkley Pearce (Pres. Hinkley's daughter).

Laurel Christensen:

Laurel Christensen spoke to us first about her journey of 'becoming'.  She was really funny and made jokes of herself a lot.  She told us how she is a natural pessimist but working on becoming an optimist.  Some points from her talk....

None of us are still on our "Plan A", it might be Plan B, C, or whatever.  However we need to have faith that it's the Lord's Plan A for us.

Faith is Optimism and Optimism is Faith.  It is vitally important to pray with faith. Moroni 7:20-25 (http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng) talks about how we can use faith to lay hold on every good thing.  3 Nephi 18:20 states "And ^awhatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you." so we need to pray for what's right and then we can have the faith it will be given to us.  So first when praying we should actually ask if it's the right thing to pray for, then we can be sure when we pray for it that it will be given. (See Doctrine and Covenants 9:7-8).

"If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now.  Don't give up when the pressure mounts.  Don't give in... Face your doubts.  Master your fears... Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you." Jeffrey R Holland, Cast Not Away Your Confidence, BYU Speeches 1999.

She told us that she had set herself a goal to run a half marathon.  She started running and training and figured it would be a good way to lose weight too.  She suffered a back injury and had to stop training and got in a downward spiral of depression about it.  The experience led to her deciding to be an optimist.  She went to the biggest loser ranch for two weeks where she was pushed so hard she really felt like she would die!  She had to do a treading class and had been told how really really really really really (etc...!) hard it was.  It involved running at your top speed possible for 5 mins, then 5 min rest, then run 4 mins, with 4 min rest etc etc.  She knew she couldn't do it, but thought, hey I'll start and then just quit.  At least I will have tried.  About 2 mins in she started to tell her trainer she just couldn't do it and had to stop because she felt she was going to die.  Her trainer "got all Gillian" on her :) and shouted in her face "Don't you dare quit - don't be the one thing standing in your way." and she carried on, despite all her pleading and sure knowledge that she couldn't do it.  She finished the 5 mins and in the cool down was just feeling proud of herself, but knew she couldn't do it again.  She got back on, planning to quit again and the same thing happened.  The trainer pushed her through it and she finished.  At that point she had a realisation that she had known she could not do that, but she just did.  She wondered how many other things she had limited herself with in her life because she knew it was out of reach and something she certainly couldn't do. But now, she knew that her idea of what she knew she could do wasn't actually accurate.

Ephesians 3:20 talks about doing exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh within us.  We need to have the vision of what we can become, like Joseph of Egypt, to help us have the faith through the things we think we can't do.  Joseph had the faith and knew the Lord was with him (see Genesis 39).

Often we have faith in an outcome when we should have faith in Christ.  Meaning the outcome may be different to what we hoped for, but we must have faith that it is what the Lord knows is what we need.

Finally she encouraged us to write down the desires of our heart so that we can start to see the vision of what we can become and start on our way to getting there.

Hilary Weeks:

Hilary Weeks sang songs throughout the day and also was the second speaker.  She did some of her really funny songs and had us crying with laughter because it's just so true! She quoted Sister Marjorie Hinkley: "Be kind - everyone is facing something difficult".  Some thigns from her presentation...
Once she heard that on average we have 300 negative thoughts a day, so she bought a clicker counter thing to count each time she had a negative thought.  After a week she felt really depressed and figured out that just by acknowledging those negative thoughts and taking notice of them, she was giving them more weight and power.  So she switched to counting the positive thoughts and her outlook was completely turned around.  She told us how much better it is to create positive thoughts instead of noticing negative ones.

We should apply this to our own self-analysis at the end of the day too - we should take note of the good we've done.  What would Heavenly Father whisper to us at the end of the day?  It wouldn't be all the stuff we're beating ourselves up about, he would be gently patting us on the back and telling us well done for the good things we did.

"How could a person possibly become what he is not thinking? Nor is any thought, when persistently entertained too small to have its effect.  The divinity that shapes our ends is indeed in ourselves."  (The Miracle of Forgiveness)

"The thoughts that we dwell on inside our minds, the feelings we foster inside our hearts and the actions we choose to take will have a determining impact on our lives, both her and in the hereafter." (Rest unto your souls, Oct 2010 general conf)

"To a great extent we accomplish what we think about.  Your thoughts, more than anything else, will be the determining factor in what you accomplish during your life." (Drawing on the powers of Heaven)

She told us about a realisation she had when spending time with her 9 year old daughter.  I will have eternity to spend knowing my children as adults - now is the only time I get to know them as children.  We need to make sure we are making the most of it - slow down and enjoy it.

Virginia Pearce:

Virginia Pearce is the daughter of Marjorie Pay and Pres Gordon B Hinkley.  She spoke about missing her parents and also her husband who died not long after her mother.  Her main presentation was about the mothering influence women have.  Some things from her talk...
We all have more than one mother - there are more women that have a motherly influence on us than just our own mother.  She gave the example of a friend of hers and Eliza R Snow as the one who started the Relief Society. (she may have talked about another too, but I don't remember now!)  She told us how Eliza R Snow is mothering us now by the foundation work she did to start Relief Society.
Her mother taught her to switch her plan to the lord's plan.  When your Plan A isn't working out, figure out what the Lord's plan A is and make it work.
In trying to overcome struggle the things we do to try to improve our life (eg scripture reading, prayers etc) changes our hearts, but often doesn't change the circumstances.  We just are able to cope with and understand it better.
Where are you in a mothering role now?  What influence are you having?  Am I aligned with the lord's vision of me and what he wants me to become?
Never underestimate the simple basic to-dos in the gospel.

Brad Wilcox:

He gave a really awesome presentation on grace and the atonement.  Some thoughts from his talk...
2 Nephi 25:23 It is by grace that we are saved after all that we can do.  It is grace that saves us, we can do nothing without God.  We are nothing without God, but nothing is not the same as worthless, it means powerless.

Lesson in a milk jug - a girl wanted to carry the milk jugs into the house but they were too heavy, so her mother picked her up while she held the milk jugs and carried her in.  She proudly told her Dad that she had carried them in all by herself.  This is like grace and the atonement - our efforts our pretty insignificant, it is the Lord who carries us and does the work we can't.

We need to become the right kind of person, it's not about the specifics of what we do - we are not called Human Doings :)  First we know then we do then we become.  It's the end bit that's important.

He knew of a young man who was struggling so Brad, Brad's mother and the boys father paid for him to go to EFY thinking it would be an amazing and changing experience.  He only lasted a few hours before he couldn't stand it and called his mother to demand he be brought home.  Heaven will not be heaven for those who have not chosen to be heavenly.  We should have a different perspective on how the judgement day will be - mostly we think about it as Christ standing there with a clipboard and us begging to be allowed in.  Actually it's the Saviour who is begging us to use his atonement to want to be changed and saved and want to be heavenly, so that we can feel at home there.

So actually the important emphasis on "after all we can do" is on the we - meaning me and the saviour.

On earth "we're not earning heaven, we're learning it".  Grace isn't about doing all we can to earn our place in heaven.  We can't even begin to earn it.  Jesus doesn't make up the difference, he makes all the difference.  It's not about filling in the gaps, it's about filling us.  He paid our entire debt, not just most of it except a few coins that we have to take care of.  What we're required to do is not fill the space, but fill us.

The piano teacher analogy - Mom pays the piano teacher.  Because she has paid the teacher, she requires certain things from the child - practice.  The practice doesn't pay the teacher and it doesn't repay the Mom, it grows the child.  Sometimes the child thinks it's unfair, unreasonable, not fun and just too much.   We need to see through His eyes what He is trying to make of us.

Jesus is not waiting for you to get everything fixed so you can go to Him.  Heavenly Father is not waiting for you to "be worthy" to pray, to go to church etc etc.  Grace is not given to those who are worthy  - it's the enabling power that helps us become worthy.

Hilary Weeks then sang He'll Carry You - go listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkRo42AbOfQ

Sheri Drew:

She encouraged us to look up the Church Historian's Press on lds.org and find the Joseph Smith Papers where there are the original minutes of Relief Society and 6 lectures from Joseph Smith.  Some thoughts from her presentation...

Root yourself in the gospel - John 4, Drink of living water.  Ask the Lord "What do you want me to be?" Rather than trying to figure out what you want so much, put it back to Him.

We root ourselves by learning and that's done through study and faith.  Do you know what it means to be a child of God? Doctrine and Covenants 138:55 tells us that our generation is noble and great - Heavenly Father has plans for us, we should ask Him what he wants of us.

The atonement is more than just for sinners.

With Rhona, Ruby, Dionne and Carly

Jasmine put her baby in her TOFW tote bag at the end :)

(Meredith Taylor's take on the day is here: http://taylorandmeredithnorman.blogspot.com/2011/08/time-out-for-women-tofw.html)